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Notes to Myself

Month

May 2009

TLAs: Which is your favourite?

JFK – John F Kennedy
SRK – ShahRukh Khan

MIT – Massachusetts Institute of Technology
DoT – Department of Telecom
RIP – Rest In Peace
USP – Unique Selling Proposition
ICC – International Cricket Council
LPG – Liquefied Petroleum Gas
ADR – American Depository Receipts
PLR – Prime Lending Rate
ECG – Electro Cardio Gram
CRT – Cathode Ray Tube
LED – Light Emitting Diode
SOA – Service Oriented Architecture
IMF – International Monetary Fund
ISD – International Subscriber Dialing
ATM – Automated Teller Machines
CoQ – Cost of Quality
IPR – Intellectual Property Right
SIP – Systematic Investment Plan
RoI – Return on Investment

What is common between all of these?

Nothing; except that they all are TLAs i.e. Three Letter Acronyms


People like to ‘create’ or ‘invent’ short-forms – preferably of Three-letters.

Especially corporate guys, marketing gurus etc. cannot seem to survive without them. Their every ‘corporate initiative’, ‘big strategic mission’ would use several TLAs

We all know about or use TLAs subconsciously – but if you start to consciously look for them, you would be amazed how much we ‘overdo’ it.
As my Economics professor (a Scot with terrific sense of humor!) said (in a sarcastic tone):
“TLAs are just perfect. Two letters is too short and Four letters is one too many…”

His favourite TLA was –
JTL i.e. ‘Just Too Late’ (similar to JIT which stands for Just In Time)

<span
c
lass=”Apple-style-span” style=”font-size:13px;”>My current favourites are –
NDE i.e. Near Death Experience (This recession is giving me plenty of NDEs) and
AYF i.e. All Your Fault (I get ‘AYF looks’ every time I survive those NDEs)

What is your favourite TLA?

~ Kaustubh

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विनोद

एकदा एक मुंगी स्कूटर वरून जात असताना एकदम खाली पडते. का?
– कारण स्कूटर संपते
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एका माणसाला ४ बहिणी असतात. तर त्याच्या मुलाचे नाव काय असेल?
– आत्याचार
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भगवान शंकरानी जर त्यांचे आत्मचरित्र लिहायचे ठरवले तर त्या आत्मचरित्राचे नाव काय असेल?
– कैलास जीवन!
—————————————————————–

एक मराठी माणूस आपल्या आईच्या आज्जीच्या नावने bank सुरु करतो…तर त्याचे नाव काय असेल?
– आय ची आय ची आय bank
—————————————————————–

एक नवरा बायको पहिल्यांदाच विमानात बसतात.
बायको (उत्साहाच्या भरात): अहो, ते बघा…माणसे कशी मुंग्यांसारखी दिसत आहेत
नवरा (शांतपणे): माणसे नाहीत, मुंग्याच आहेत त्या…आपले विमान अजून उडायचे आहे
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शाहरूख खान आणि करण जोहर ने ’तारे जमीन पर’ बनवला असता तर त्याचे नाव काय ठेवले असते?
– ’कुछ’ तारे जमीन पर
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शाहरूख खान आणि आदित्य चोप्राने ’गझनी’ बनवला असता तर त्याचे नाव काय ठेवले असते?
– रब ने बना दी बॊडी
—————————————————————–

मास्तर: शाळेबाहेरच्या फणसाच्या झाडाला जर ३ फणस आहेत तर माझे वय काय?
चिंटू: ४० वर्षे
मास्तर: शाब्बास चिंटू…तू कसे ओळखलेस?
चिंटू: माझ्या घराजवळ एक अर्धवट वेडा मुलगा राहतो – त्याचे वर २० वर्षे आहे
—————————————————————–

मास्तर: शाळेबाहेरच्या फणसाच्या झाडाला जर ३ फणस आहेत तर माझे वय काय?
चिंटू: ४० वर्षे
मास्तर: शाब्बास चिंटू…तू कसे ओळखलेस?
चिंटू: कारण मी आज डब्यात मटकीची उसळ आणली आहे
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For sale: baby shoes, never worn

This thing amused me a lot – especially after having just completed Atlas Shrugged – which is about 1200 pages long!

Have you heard of ‘Flash fiction’? (or ‘sudden fiction’ or ‘microfiction’, ‘micro-story’ or ‘postcard fiction’ or ‘short short story’)


I hadn’t – till I came across this Ernest Hemingway’s six-word flash,


“For sale: baby shoes, never worn”


Yes, that’s the whole story! Apparantly Ernest Hemingway was once prodded to compose a complete story in six words; Hemingway accepted the challenge and came up with this story…and it is said that he rated it the best among his work.


I explored a bit on this and found that such form of writing is called ‘flash fiction’ i.e. fiction of extreme brevity.


Wired magazine had published a compilation of few of them

The one I liked is:


Failed SAT. Lost scholarship. Invented rocket.

– William Shatner


And


We went solar; sun went nova.

– Ken MacLeod


After this I collected a few interesting attempts by various bloggers/ writers:


Shit or get off the pot.


You’re not my wife? My bad.


the pattern was perfect. well, no.


<span class="
e-
span” style=”font-size: small;”>hmmmm….there must me something more…


I hate long goodbyes. Just leave.


Another interesting thing I found was:


The World’s Shortest Horror Story:

“The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock at the door.”


(author unknown to me)


———————————————

Cool, isn’t it? It really amazes me – The power of words – when used sparingly 🙂


~ Kaustubh

The Best Drunken Conversation


The best drunken conversation:


What is the man saying here?

My answer: I Am Not As Thunk As You Drink I Am

What’s your answer? Come on…shooooot; let your creative and witty juices flow… 🙂

~ Kaustubh

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

……………..

……………..
……………..
(last paragraph…)


I shall be telling this with a sigh 
Somewhere ages and ages hence 
Two roads diverged in a wood 
And I took the one less traveled by 
And that has made all the difference 

~ Robert Frost

My desktop wallpaper…


Just a thought came to my mind – to share my desktop wallpapers, from time to time…so that I can remember in future what my mood was look at that poin in time…(not that there is any ‘deep thought’ in having those as wallpapers – but definitely it says something…)

Current wallpaper:




Previous wallpaper:



The next change will be in June 2009 or when my mood changes (whichever is earlier!) – 🙂

~ Kaustubh

Jai Ho!

Finally, my looooooong time wish is going to come true…

I will be attending 2-times Oscar winner A R Rahman’s concert in my home city – Pune on 31st May 2009…bought the Silver pass today…can’t wait for the concert…too eager to experience the Rahman magic!!!

~ Kaustubh

“झाड”: एक कविता


कविता आणि मी – हे समीकरण फारसं कधी जुळंल नाही (कविता म्हणजे – काव्य…कविता नावाचा इतर कुठलाही पदार्थ आमच्या अवतीभवती नाही)…तर मी कवितेत फारसा रमलो नाही कारण मला त्यातले फारसे कधी कळलेच नाही…  (’आपल्याला एखाद्या गोष्टीतले कळंत नाही’ हेच बऱ्याच लोकांना कळंत नाही…मला ते कळते आणि ते मी मान्य करतो हे काय कमी आहे?). 

आमचे मास्तर, किंवा काही कविता कळते असे समजणारे लोक एकाच कवितेतून नाही नाही ते अर्थ काढतात – की जे खुद्द कविलापण अभिप्रेत नसतील. 

“Censor is a person who finds 3 meanings of a joke – when there are actually only 2!” … तसे काहीसे….असो.

पण तरीही मी कविता वाचत राहतो – कधी तरी मलाही कविता कळेल (निदान एक अर्थ तरी!) ह्या सद्भावनेने.

आणि परवाच एक अशी कविता वाचण्यात आली जी मला चक्क कळली! (मी जर मराठीचा प्राध्यापक असतो तर ’कविता भावली’ असे म्हणालो असतो, आणि स्वतः कवी असतो तर ’कविता उमगली’ असे!)

कविता कळली त्याचे कारण ति ज्या विषयावर आहे त्या मंदीचा फटका मलाही बसला आहे… (आमच्या एका नातेवाईकाचे नाव ’मंदा’ आहे – तिला लाडानी लोक ’मंदी’ म्हणतात…आणि ती लाडानी आम्हाला कायम फटके द्यायची…पण ते ’मंदीचे फटके’ वेगळे…)

तर ती कविता कोण्या एका ’स्वामी’ नावाच्या कवीची आहे…आता स्वामी हे त्याचे (किंवा तीचे) “टोपणनाव” आहे, की “रिफील-नाव” की “संपूर्ण पेन-नाव” ते काही मला माहीती नाही (शीः विनोदाचा किती गरीब आणि सुमार प्रयत्न होता). पण कविता चांगली आहे…वाचा. बाकी सध्या मला बऱ्यापैकी कविता ’भावायला’ लागल्या आहेत…त्यामुले आता अधुनमधून असाच (दुसऱ्याच्या) कवितांचा मारा होत रहाणार…फक्त अशी प्रार्थना करा की मला कविता करायची दुर्बुद्धी व्हायला नको…

—————————————-
“झाड”

मी लावलं होतं एक स्थावर मालमत्तेचं झाड
त्याला कर्जाचं पाणी टाकून,
वाढवत होतो हळूहळू.

खूप निघत होता व्याजाचा घाम
चालू होतं हप्त्याचं ठिबक सिंचन
आणी रिकामी होत होती सेविंगची टाकी

वाट बघत होतो अशा एका पावसाची
ज्याने ओसंडून वा

Black is beautiful…than ever before
















Obama effect is spreading faster than Swine Flu!!! Black is beautiful…than ever before.

Shortly after Obama was elected as first Black US president, current James Bond, Daniel Craig said that the world was now ready for a Black Bond

To take things further, Will Smith declared himself to be the best suited as Black Bond.

And now – for the first time in its history, Walt Disney film is introducing first Black princess in its forthcoming animation movie. The announcement is already getting good publicity and some criticism as well. 

The moral of the story is – black is no more seen in bad/ negative light.

So I was just brainstorming aon what we may hear in future?
  1. Black money would be considered same as white money.
  2. Black magic would not be looked down upon – and would get the same social status as any other kind of magic.
  3. People would vie for appearing on Blacklist
  4. Just like Batman – we would have a super-hero character named ‘Blackman’
  5. US president would have a second home (or weekend home or a farm house) called ‘Black House’
  6. <
    li><spa
    n class=”Apple-style-span” style=”font-family:verdana;”>To show protest/ anger, people would not blacken faces of politicians/ government officials (Don’t know if it happens in the rest of the world – in India it is usual)…they would instead whitewash!

  7. And lastly, Michael Jackson (Oops, I mean Mikaeel) would again go under knife to become Black again!
Can you add to the list?

~ Kaustubh